How To Forget Someone You Loved Deeply: 8 Practical Tips
(Updated on 15th March'19)
This is such a tricky piece to write on.
How to forget someone or let go of someone whom once you loved deeply?
Once whose name made your heart sing!!!
And how long does it take to forgetting someone you truly loved?
When breakups happen, it feels like we are drowned in a dark sea of pain. The helplessness begins when we are unable to swim through and trying to figure out how to move on with our life.
We want the pain of breakup to end soon. But like everything in life, getting over heartbreak is also a process which takes its own time. Sometimes slow and other times fast. But the eternal question still remains the same: “Will I ever forget my lover?”
The question though is, "How to get over someone, for whom you once had such deep feelings for?"
In my opinion, there is no simple answer to this. But I have been there and moved on, so I can relate and write about this.
Here is what I know for sure...
"Every day is a new day, and you'll never be able to find happiness if you don't move on."
Let’s talk about 8 practical ways to forget someone you truly loved:
#1. Stop, Breathe and Rest
When something breaks down, it’s a process. Be gentle. Breakups feel like lying on a bed of razors. But that is how certain things in life are.
Breakups are difficult to handle. So the first thing you can ever do is breathe. Take a break. Process it.
I know, it feels horrible. But there are times in life when life demands more from us and the only way out is to give it a chance. It demands resilience and courage. The first step to any healing is taking a step back and just hanging in there.
And I can’t tell you, how taking a step back helped me see things that I was blind to when I was in the relationship. When you are amidst a battle, you can’t see your own moves or for that matter anyone else’s. But when you step back, you clearly know where you stand.
No matter how painful it might be, but with the clarity, you are ready for the next step. Take rest post any havoc. We all deserve our breaks. Take yours.
#2. Stop Visiting The Special Places
When we are intimate with someone, we create memories. And once the person is gone we end up revisiting those memories. The songs, restaurants, the roads, and every place come to haunt us. And no matter why you broke up, you will have impulses to call or go back. Many people give up in this phase and go back, only realizing that memories were much better than reality. Your special places will act as a trigger.
Stop going or visiting all those special places or maybe even those special songs. Go to new places, create fresh memories. The brain will rewrite everything. It always does (It sounds crazy but trust me it does). Give yourself that grace period. You will be fine.
#3. Stop Stalking Your Ex
Accept it that you have broken up, and stop visiting their social profiles, can you? Can you for some time at least block your ex on all social media platform? It does absolutely no good seeing what they are doing but certainly, destroy your day. That cute picture on Instagram will only intensify you more and make you more helpless.
And trust me, knowing if he has a new girl in his life won’t help either. Block your ex for some time. Let your wounds heal. Once you know you are fine, you may unblock them. The thing is that once you heal, his life won’t matter to you because healing gives you a new perspective that is so much more than you would have seen.
Be gentle with yourself. Leave alone his social media profiles and move on.
#4. Don’t Sleep With Your Ex Post Break Up
This is an absolute NO. No matter how good the sex is. If you have broken up, don’t sleep with him. It will only intensify your pain. The thing with most women is that we find it difficult to keep sex and love in two different boxes. You will only go back to times when things were right and will want intimacy.
Some things are better left untouched. Let his body go too. This will help you forget him and you will heal faster.
#5. Try anything new and exciting to overcome his memories
Take a piece of paper. Write things you are scared of doing (or loved doing but never did). Maybe bungee jumping or a solo trip? Then do it. Nothing expands us more than doing something we thought was not our cup of tea and that builds our confidence too.
Once you do what you thought you could not, it gives you new skies to fly in and you become a new person. So many times breakups are the best times to find who we are truly meant to be. Because the purpose of pain is always to expand us. Trust me on that.
#6. Stay With Your Circle That Uplifts You
I can never emphasize enough, the influence your intimate circle can have on you. Stay with the ones who uplift you. Stay with the ones who see the good in you. With whom you forget all your past.
Half of my personal battles were won because my inner circle lifted me as a champion when I saw myself as someone ragged and tattered. No breakup is easy to go, nor was mine.
Stay close to the ones who love you and want you to do well. When people around you see the good in you, you become it. Especially when you are hitting an emotional low. Find people who will be your cheerleaders. You will reach the zenith quicker and stay emotionally healthy.
#7. Learn How To Move On!
Sometimes we hit emotional low so that we can remap our journeys in life. Even a breakup can move mountains in your life or can give you immense passion to do something incredible in life.
Sometimes a fall is actually a call by the Universe to take a new road. Try taking a new craft (Maybe you can decorate your house with these out of waste ideas or who knows you had some skills which you can turn into a business. You can try some of these business ideas) that lightens you up. Immerse in it. And you will find ways to build a new life, you might have never foreseen.
The idea is not to become a master in that art form but to find different parts of who you are. Maybe today is the day for something new.
#8. Forgive and Forget him like a good memory
Here is the last nail in the coffin of pains. Forgiveness will detox you from your past, no life class or yoga class ever can. Forgiveness is the ultimate form of self-care. Forgiveness does not justify what the other person did to you. It only takes away the pain you are carrying.
Forgiveness helps you forget your ex and leaves you without pain. Forgive him for whatever good, bad or evil he did to you. Then forgive your own self.
The most difficult person to ever forgive is yourself. Forgive yourself for everything you think you did, that brought you this heartbreak. And once that forgiveness happens, you are on a new road. You can choose whatever you please.
As difficult as a heartbreak seems like, it’s never the end of the road.
My grandmother once said, “Hearts needs to be broken so that we can find what gems lie within our hearts. Life is like a treasure hunt, every fall is a queue to find the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. One day you will realize that you are that pot of gold that you were looking for”. I never forget this life lesson.
Once you are healed, you will not find the past that attractive but the new roads are more alluring. That is when you can let go or forget your past. If there is one thing I know for sure is that heartbreaks tell us that we are not yet home. And we need a new journey.
Heartbreaks taught me who I am and who I was meant to be. If you are the one tending to a heartbreak, be gentle with yourself, for one day you will thank God that it happened for the future brought you things beyond your imagination. It did to me. I pray it does to you!
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A*****Very right yet difficult to follow...as only the victim knows the sufferings
R*****This is very beautifully written.
A*****After reading this piece of article actually now m feeling m gud... Nothing I did wrong....I can forgive him so that I can find my peace of mind.... thank you...
A*****Time heals everything ...but that phrase of time is not easy to pass it really kills...
S*****Hey thankyou so much... This really heals me out from the past....
S*****It's beautiful...thanks <3
R*****Beautiful write up. Can include catharsis like writing, crying and meditation as well.