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Paromita Bardoloi
30 Jan 2018 . 1 min read

Here's How You Can Heal Your Heartbreak


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Healing a heartbreak Healing a heartbreak

Heartbreaks are tough, aren’t they? We would do anything to keep away from them. But heartbreaks are real and they hurt deep. It’s almost like we can’t breathe again. Our tongue feels bitter, the pit of our stomach hurts, the sky turns grey. It’s a feeling that hits us hard. But here is the good news - humans are designed to heal. Just like the cuts on our skins, if we care for any wound properly, it heals. It always does. Human life is designed to refresh itself. Trust me, most of us go through it. I too was there, like so many of us.

Here's how you can heal a broken heart:

Acknowledge: Darling, what you do not acknowledge will never heal. What you sweep under the carpet will come back as demons which become harder to heal, later. No, you were not a fool or an idiot. You loved and it did not work. He left. And that is the whole story. That is the only story of any heartbreak. Our mind loves tricking us. We make excuses. We hold on to hope that it will all change overnight. The news is that it won’t and it will hurt.

Acknowledge that you are hurt. You are going through a break-up. The more lies you tell yourself, the difficult things become. Acknowledging your pain is courage. It is grace. Give yourself time and grace to accept it. And know you will heal.

talk to friends heartbreak

Talk About It: What are friends for? Get those hours of crying and name calling. Now come on, when we are hurt, negative emotions do surround us. We are human. If someone says they just walked out like an angel, either they are lying or they were never invested in their relationship.

So, cry, curse, name call. It’s a part of the process. Binge watch movies. Cry again. Curse again. Feel sad. This is a phase. This too shall pass. It’s okay to be weepy, weak and to be a crybaby. It’s okay not to be strong. When you break down, you get to rebuild everything. Sometimes, your heartbreak is your biggest opportunity to grow, evolve and shine. All you need to do is to forget him and forgive him for what he did to you. But first, cry. It’s okay. Just DON’T drink and drive.

Nourish A Childhood Dream: Remember what brought you undiluted joy when you were a child. Writing, singing, dancing, volunteering and anything that brought joy and peace - choose that. I have seen many people discovering more ways of love, other than a relationship, post a break-up. Once you find it, hone it, nurture it, give it your time.

Joy will flow back to your heart. Trust me, you will discover so much good about yourself, you had no knowledge about. Go back to joy. It will serve you in the long run.

Connect With People: Nothing can ever replace human connections. Reconnect with friends you have lost touch with. Forge stronger bonds with the ones you have. Meet new people, listen to them genuinely. Help one person selflessly. Spend time with grandparents or your family.

When you bring genuine joy to someone, the Universe will bring experiences to heal you. Remember this even when you are broken and bitter - the Universe will give back everything tenfold. Dust your skirt, put on that lipstick, go to that charity event. Dance. You will invite ways to heal and love in your life, you might not have imagined before. Reach out to the world and the world will reach back. It did to me, and how.

healing a heartbreak running

Take Up A Physical Activity: When we are sad and low, our body absorbs a lot of negative energy that our mind produces. Try getting into a physical activity. Keep your body flexible. Run, cycle or join a kickboxing class. When your body is in motion, it releases a lot of toxins which includes your negative emotions too. Take up any physical activity and you will thank yourself for it, trust me. If nothing, go for a trek, it works wonders.

Keep A Journal: You know when one goes through an emotional low, our thoughts are clouded. Our cognitive power goes low. This is the time to journal your thoughts. Don’t edit, just write even the meanest thoughts. You may burn it later, but this clears your mind. And you will find that sometimes, we are hurting in other places too. Our heartbreak might just be a part of it.

All things are lessons. When in silence only listen to yourself and write it down, you will see so much coming out. Sometimes, our heartbreaks are just ways of things coming out from within. Try not to indulge in a rebound because it’s unfair to the other person. Just listening to myself and writing it down, helped me heal in places I had no idea I was hurting. We, humans, are masters of camouflaging.

Heartbreaks often take us to all the places that we have hidden within. My favourite prayer is, “God, show me the truth and let me have the courage to accept it.” Truth comes, from within and at different times. That was my journey towards healing, through heartbreak.

Take Help: If things continue to get darker and darker, it’s okay to call a therapist and ask for an appointment. No one comes with a handbook on how to lead a life. We falter, we learn, we grow. If you need professional help, go for it. There is no shame in taking help because no one is going through what you are.

Yes, people go through heartbreaks. Some get over it in a day, some in years. We are all humans, differently wired. You don’t need anyone’s permission to see a therapist. Your mental health is important. Do make an appointment with a therapist if you need to. I did and walked out perfectly fine.

Be Kind To Yourself: When we are going through a heartbreak, we tend to self-negate. We blame ourselves a lot. We forget the art of loving ourselves, without the validation of our partner. Be kind to yourself with words, with food and your overall behaviour. Even when your words feel fake. Write down good things about yourself. Read them aloud. Repeat. You can’t beat yourself down and feel great about life. Being kind to yourself is the grace you give yourself to sail through tough times.

These are a few ways to heal your broken heart. Yes, it hurts and feels terrible. But when you are committed to getting through it, you do. Create a life you love. Stay open to love. Heartbreaks often leave us wiser. And one day when you are not even looking out for love and lay your head on the pillow sleeping in peace, someone will knock. Love will knock.

And this time he will never leave.

You have all my love. May you heal and find love in everything you do.

 

Are you going through a heartbreak? Did this article help you feel better? Let us know in the comments.


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Paromita Bardoloi
She loves life and God. She believes in the power words. She is a writer and a storyteller.

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Responses

  • A*****
    Well written Paromita. Thank u
  • R*****
    I have done all these things but still couldn't move on...i m very much depressed n still hope for his comeback but it's not happening...😭
  • K*****
    It is easy to say then done .. Isn't it .. I know this all.. have been reading all the points over and over again but not able to do either of them.
  • B*****
    Great... Thanks for sharing this beautiful words☺️
  • M*****
    Actually I luv a person who doesn't luv me..Can anyone help me how to get over it?
  • N*****
    Thanks for this dear
  • S*****
    Can you help me how I write articles in sheroes
  • N*****
    That's great Deekshu :) Do know, we're all in this together!
  • B*****
    Thnx...
  • B*****
    Just reading the article helped a lot..... #literally.....