5 Pointers For How To Deal With A Breakup

Last updated 27 May 2019 . 1 min read

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A breakup is one heart-wrenching episode of life. It results due to various reasons such as infidelity, abuse, incompatibility, loss of interest, social isolations or mutual dislike. Relationships that are over still can have a pull on us for long. Something that was once a really big part of your life starts to fade away.

We might have faced it by our self or came across it when a close acquaintance went through it.

Around the world, many people have a breakup. For some, it is not a big deal. They overcome it with little or no effort. While there are others, who are completely shattered and face a lot of emotional turmoil.

Let us talk about the people who belong to the latter category -

For such people, breakup causes immense pain. That pain cannot be healed by any ointment or medicines or by any other person. One suddenly starts losing interest from the rest of the world. Their faith is ruptured and their belief system is totally smashed. They constantly feel depressed and cannot even think of a better life beyond that point.

But amidst all these painful sensations and sentiments, one needs to understand that the breakup is not the end of the life. Just like the old adage says “Every cloud has a silver lining”, breakups too can be a power boost.

How to deal with a break up after a long-term relationship?

How to move on after a breakup

Being in a long-term relation tends to make people more emotionally attached as well as vulnerable. To deal with a breakup of a long-term relationship is very punishing and hard to accept when one has invested so much in making things work for a long time.

However, you have to realize that no relationship is ever a waste of time. If the relationship did not fetch you enough of what you expected, then it taught you what you don’t desire.

It has given you clarity about yourself and about your definition of a fulfilling relationship.

As far as letting go the partner is concerned, you should listen to the inner wisdom which tells you to let go and endure the pain.

It is always better to make way for the new chapter of life leaving behind the familiar rather than being subjected to the low-grade pain that slowly eats always your heart and soul.

When a person to whom you were associated to, who got all your love and time for such a considerable amount of time and still couldn’t join you till the eternity, means that he is not the one!

Embrace the fact and evolve with a greater degree of maturity and self-realization.

How do I stop hurting after a break-up?

Do we laugh at the overused jokes, again and again? Don’t we find it silly to laugh at the same jokes?

If yes, then why do we cry over the same issues in our life? Why do we revisit our past, dig into our own wounds and make it bleed? We don’t want to be a masochist all our lives, do we?

There can be a mixture of small and big yet innumerable instances where your relationship might have caused you agony. There could be memories, incidents, objects or even songs that would drag you to the past and hurt you.

Thankfully the control is in your hand, whether to allow it to give you grief or remind you, not to commit the same mistakes. The best way to stop hurting after a break up is acceptance.

Analyze the trigger points that cause you pain and fondly accept them as a part of your memory lane.

Accept what is, let go of what was and have faith in what will be.

How do you get over an ex that you still love?

True love is a beautiful feeling; it doesn’t come with an expiry date. It stays forever, even when the one walks away.

But don’t you think that this love is also very expensive, rare and not easily accessible? If the person doesn’t value it then why keep it hanging for them?

How to Overcome Breakup

It is entirely their loss and not yours. If they are reckless enough to walk away then you are smart enough to keep your love intact for someone who will truly treasure it.

Stalking your ex on social media, texting them, begging for reconciliation, seeking revenge so on and so forth will only add on to your despair and lower your self-esteem.

Become fully aware that, you are a wonderful person, who is brave to forgive and walk ahead with dignity.

After a breakup, forgive your ex, not because they deserve forgiveness, but because you deserve peace.

How long does it take to recover from a breakup?

For some recovering from a break up takes two to three months while for others it takes more than a year.

You should cry, take up the entire breakup therapies, go shopping, try new hairstyles, eat lots of ice-creams; in short, take your time to be back on track and search for the love of your life again. But the time being taken, in order to recover should not be so long that it transforms you into a recluse.

Believe it or not, but it is a matter of choice that decides the time one takes to recuperate from a heartache. People fall down by accidents, but staying down is in the sufferer’s hand.

The sooner you make up your mind, the sooner you will be recovering from the damage.

Breakups are like scars, you can only take the dosage of positive thoughts, let them be as they are and hope for a speedy recovery. If you keep scratching them, it will take longer or even become a septic. In order to get yourself a speedy recovery from the heartbreak, you should forget what you feel and try to remember what you deserve. (Read How to forget someone)

How do you heal after a breakup?

The best way to heal after a break up is to start loving yourself. The person who deserves all your love and attention after a breakup is you!

The undeniable fact that the breakup causes an excruciating pain but it doesn’t mean you let the pain take over. There are even positive outcomes of Tsunami and other hurricanes, then why can’t a breakup lead to something good. You are single again! You are free to roam around, do things without considering anyone’s validation, free to date and hang out!

Talk it out and write it down, in the most positive way you can. Try to squeeze out every bit of positivity from the breakup that has happened.

At the same time, register that we can’t force anyone to love us back, nor can we force them to stay. We can only let the time take control as it is aptly said, time heals everything.

At times it is very hard to move on, but once you do, you realize, that it was your life’s best decision.

Stay hopeful for even happier future and believe that whatever happens- happens for good. Let go the past and the past will let go of you.


When you come close to terms with the end of a relationship, that didn’t go well, you will surely feel a very freeing experience. You are no longer required to fight in order to keep things alive. Once you have successfully overcome this hurdle in your life, you will emerge as a more evolved person. After a breakup, you will develop a much deeper empathy towards others, you will figure out who are the ones who stick to you in your worst time and most importantly make you aware of your true aspirations in life.

If you find it difficult to move on after your breakup, then you can visit our Love and Relationships Community and get help from our Love Doctor.

It would be great if you could share your similar experiences in the comments section below. 

Sainy Banerjee Pal
An engineer by profession but an ardent writer by heart, Sainy has been writing from the age of 12. She has a huge collection of her handwritten diaries. Her friends call her a therapist for broken hearts and can connect instantly with anyone. She lives with her doting husband who is also her critic for her write ups. Imaginative, spirited and filled with compassion, she always has a lot to say, to those who care to listen.

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