How My Friend Dealt With Her Break Up Like A Badass

Last updated 9 Mar 2018 . 11 min read

Updated: March 2018

When you see your friend going through a break-up, you want to be there for them. The reason being they are emotionally vulnerable at that time.

I, on the other hand, want to be with my friend because she has inspired me with her kickass approach towards break up.

This is the story of my friend (whom I wish to keep anonymous) who has been in a whirlwind romantic relationship for good 4 years. The former couple in spotlight, are the friends from our college group, and you know how it is. We were all rooting for them. As in, the ultimate validation of  any relationship being marriage. But something just jolted us out of this dream. They broke up recently and it was painful to see them end their relationship mutually. More so, when all of us were hopeful of them ending up together.

Reason: Parents not agreeing for an inter-religious marriage.

Long story short, this has left them devastated, but she has been taking the break up pretty well.

Oh no, she hasn’t packed her bags and sprinted off to some hill station or a holiday destination to “get away” from the pain and drown her sorrows in spirits so that she could forget someone she loved!

Also, she hasn’t “gotten back” to him by getting her life together. It was not in a sorry state to begin with.

Does that mean it’s not a messy break up or she has held herself strong in this situation. No, it is messy, breakups are always messy. And she has been tearing up every now and then.

Assuming that we all might have been through the phase of break up at some point in our lives, I can say that it sucks! It hurts like hell. Hang on their ladies, it is not the end of the world though.

My darling anonymous friend. has displayed some incredible hunger for life and I would love to share it with my fellow SHEROES. Some of her words of wisdom that has taught me about self love and compassion.

I want to cry and mourn the loss of this relationship!

We have bucket loads of content out there suggesting us to get out of the room and get going after the break up. Don’t sit at home, go out, meet people and interact with them. Yes agreed, but don’t overdo it to the point of brushing your feelings under the carpet. Coping mechanism should not become an escape route.

Cry, mope, feel bad for yourself, do everything to get all these feelings out of your system. You mustn't end up with bitter feelings towards the relationship or the man/woman who made you smile at one point of time.  Cry, I am sure you will feel light at the end.

We were friends first and lovers later

"I don’t want to lose out on that friendship. Somewhere I wanted it to work out, but if it’s not for whatever reasons, I don’t want to play the blame game now"

The norm is to shoulder the blame on the other person and it is natural, as we all want to get out of the painful consequences of a failed relationship. But becoming bitter in the process is just as dangerous. That doesn’t mean you don’t stand your ground. If your love has not been courageous and audacious enough, express your displeasure and  anger, but don’t carry it forward. Carrying it forward is like latching on to the unfulfilled past and that is not healthy for your confidence and self-esteem. Whatever happens, happens for good, always keep this in mind.

I don’t look at him longingly

"Thinking this man could have been my husband. I want the best for him and for myself too.”

I just love her for the fact that after crying the whole morning, this woman gets up in the afternoon and says let’s get ready and go somewhere out for dinner. I love her for saying “Man, life is full of possibilities and why should I think of one relationship which gave me happiness till it lasted, but didn’t culminate in the holy bonds of matrimony.”

Right guys, living in the moment, living for yourself. Life is really short, don’t lose yourself in the darkness of a failed relationship. Learn something from it and grow out of its baggage. Become a better version of your older self.

I am not interested in dating now

If you are not comfortable going out on dates, don’t go. Period. Please don’t crumble under peer pressure, the reason being when you put yourself out with the baggage of your failed relationship, it becomes a deadly mix of past and present. Every relationship has its share of learning, don’t miss out on them. Learn why it failed and try becoming a better person, first for yourself and then the relationship you might get into, next.

Jumping from one person to another in desperate search of love; I have seen things go down the hill for people.

She has kept it really simple and that got me thinking why are we hell bent on complicating our lives.

We have become anal about the fact that if a relationship has not worked out for us, in this case marriage, the time spent, has been wasted.

You haven’t wasted your time, if you laughed, loved and giggled during the good times; fought, cried and kissed each other passionately, making up for the huge argument you had; if you have felt loved and protective about the other person, trust me it has been worth your time and energy.

She screams at the top of her voice "This is the best break up ever!" that brings a broad smile on my face, and I think this feels so good and right.  

Lola Jutta
An unapologetic writer, budding travel enthusiast and a default optimist! Life is what you make out of it.

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