How To Bring Back The Spark In Your Relationship

Everyone knows the thrill of a new relationship. Everything feels perfect and beautiful. You probably laugh a little longer at their jokes, you take more time getting ready for a date or try new things that they like doing, even if it isn’t something you’d usually do.

You find yourself enchanted by this new person, hanging on their every word, thinking about them throughout the day. You think they are God’s gift to womankind and you somehow got to be the incredibly lucky girl who got to have them, for keeps.

But somewhere along the way, the newness and excitement start to fade. The initial ‘honeymoon period’ fades and what was once intense and exciting becomes calmer and more tranquil. While many couples equate it with the death of romance, it can, in fact, be quite the opposite. That honeymoon stage of the relationship does fade in order to form a bond that is deeper and more intimate as the two of you become closer and intertwine your lives together. At the same time, a long-term relationship doesn’t mean that you’re doomed to watch the spark fade away. You just have to know how to rekindle it.

Here’s a quick tip sheet that can get you back on track:

1. Flirt With Each Other

What’s the best part about starting a new relationship? Flirting! Looking at each other with gooey eyes, finding excuses to touch, teasing one another, smiling and laughing at witty comebacks - everyone craves flirting. It makes us feel wanted, fun and sexy. It feels good. Bringing flirting back into the mix can be a simple way to make your old romance feel a few decades younger.

2. Give Your Dopamine Levels A Boost

Dopamine is the chief hormone responsible for making people feel happy. One thing that caused butterflies when you first met was the chemical cocktail in your bodies. Bring this feeling back by doing something novel. Go out to a new restaurant, take a cooking class together, learn how to salsa dance or bungee jump - do something fun that you’re both excited to try.

3. Kiss Often

At the beginning of a relationship, couples tend to kiss each other well and often. But over time they tend to stop. The value of this simple act of intimacy is often neglected. Continuing to hug, kiss, cuddle is an extremely important component of a healthy relationship. Take time to make each other feel loved and wanted.

4. Get Physical

Physical touch is key to a significant relationship. Give your partner a hug when you first see him, offer him a back rub after a long day at work, hold his hand when you’re walking together, offer him a massage, play footsie under the table in a restaurant. The hormone Oxytocin is released with physical touch, which has been shown to give lots of benefits, from feeling closer to being more generous and even having a stronger immune system. Physical touch is great not just for your relationship but also for your health!

5. Happy > Right

Keeping score isn’t a healthy practice in any relationship. Don’t spend too much time thinking of all that you do and all that your partner doesn’t. Or who has won how many arguments. Let go of your need to be right all the time. People in happy relationships don’t view themselves as being on two different and opposite sides. There is no “I win, you lose” mentality. Instead, they focus on win-win. That means being willing to compromise, admitting when you're wrong and focusing on being happy instead of being right.

6. Be Unpredictable

The reason why relationships often start to feel like they are stuck in a rut is because over the years, you tend to become stuck in the same patterns. This may not be conscious but it can have a negative impact on your relationship. A simple way to get out of the slug phase is to mix it up. If you always go out for Italian food, eat Chinese. If you always go for relaxing vacations, try adventure sports instead. Do something you’ve never done before. Believe us, it helps.

7. Make An Effort

As time rolls by in a relationship, we tend to get comfortable with our partner. That is great. Unfortunately, sometimes, we also end up getting lazy. We stop making the general effort we once made towards our mate. Think back to the first year of your relationship and write down all the things you used to do for your partner. It can be simple things like shaving your legs, dressing up for him, cooking a meal or leaving a nice note on the fridge. Start doing them again.

8. Shower Him With Compliments

The worst thing one can do in a relationship is to take the person we love for granted. As time passes, we tend to do that even if we don’t intend to. We stop appreciating the wonderful person we have in our lives and tell them how much they mean to us. We feel that they know, and maybe they do. But a little reminder never hurt! If you think their hair looks great, tell them! If you think he is a wonderful father to your children, make sure he knows. Make him feel important, appreciated and loved.

9. Do The Little Things

An unexpected gesture to make your partner smile can go a long way in keeping the energy alive in your relationship. For example, once or twice a week, send an afternoon email to your partner, telling him how you feel about him. Think about it: When you’re halfway through a rough day and you still have to slog through a couple hours more, wouldn’t it be nice to get an email that says, “Wow, I think you’re wonderful”?

10. Keep The Faith

Relationships, like life, are a rollercoaster ride and have their fair share of ups and downs. If you are in a downward slump right now, maintain hope: Things can and will get better. Put some time, energy and love into your relationship. Focus on being the best partner you are capable of being and see the positive change happen in your relationship.

When things tend to get routine, why not change the routine? Don’t compare your relationships with that of the others. While your life or relationship might not be perfect, neither is anybody else’s. The key lies in appreciating what you have.

Be impulsive, surprise your partner and be surprised in return!

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