Should You Compromise For A Healthy Relationship?

The beginning of a relationship is the most beautiful experience one can imagine.

The rose-tinted glasses of love make us believe that we are finally living the fairytale that we truly desire. That sense of euphoria is what keeps us wanting more and more. And that is where the conflict arises. We might want to keep on living the fairytale but as time takes its toll. It also realigns our vision of what really is happening.

The honeymoon phase of a relationship is followed by one of the largest milestones we all experience which is coming to terms with our partners.

What Happens After The Honeymoon Stage?

Slowly as you come out of the cocoon of blissful romance is a sudden rough phase in the relationship. However, with a little bit of insight, it's the path to a healthy relationship. Compromise is often looked like a negative thing, however, it stands at paramount importance. It is the recipe to solve out the little rough edges in our relationships.

Let the little things go, occasionally say yes when you want to say no and don’t go crazy if they forget to take the bins out; these little acts of compromise are what underpin long-term commitment, says Sarah Abell, relationships expert.

What Does Compromising In A Relationship Mean?

However, compromising on things fundamental to our being causes conflicts. To let a relationship threaten one’s needs, wants and desires crumple the foundation of a relationship.

A relationship that is healthy helps both the partners grow individually while being together.

Do We Sacrifice Or Compromise?

Here is where we understand the difference between compromising in a relationship over sacrificing for a relationship.

The compromises that enable the growth of both the partners and fosters the growth of the relationship are compromises that should be made.

When both individuals are focusing on building a life together sometimes other person's happiness becomes a priority and at times your own happiness also takes the centre stage.

We as humans want our loved one to be able to breathe freely while next to us. There NO formula to it. A lot of people suggest coming to a middle ground. Often interpreted as going through a 50-50 kind of exchange.

However, relationships that thrive on love don't see it as an exchange of how much effort can be put. Healthy relationships aren't a competition. We give our 100 per cent to our partner without sacrificing who we are. And that simple method is the basis of all successful relationships.

If you make sacrifices that affect the core beliefs of who you are. You yourself wouldn't feel the warmth of the relationship. Your relationship is supposed to be a safe space the minute it becomes a medium to control you it loses its meaning.

The compromise can't be used as a tool for you to override your own self-respect.

How We Sacrifice:

We might agree to sacrifice things in life for the larger goal however love never makes one sacrifice on things that hold value to you.

We tend to romanticize giving up things for one person and we do that as it serves the idea. That this person right next to me is the one who will complete me. And because we feel incomplete we tend to give up pieces of ourselves. This directly points to the reason that we have been sold on love as a phenomenon that helps us meet our better half. Hence something that gives meaning to us.

However, your relationship should not be the one giving meaning to your life. At most our relationships should enhance our experience and make it worthwhile.

We shouldn't look for healing from past experiences through a relationship. All that hard work needs to be done on one and only one relationship that is yours with your own self.

The Most Important Relationship Is That Of You With Yourself!

The core of all things in life stays dependent on the kind of relationship you've had with yourself. If you keep other people as a priority over your own self. Then you compromise your happiness for others. This then plays a bigger role in an intimate relationship.

Tips On Standing Up For Yourself And Your Relationship:

Do “YOU”

The number one rule of any good relationship is to understand that the relationship isn’t a rehabilitation program. It cannot be given the responsibility to fix your life or ease out your pain.

The relationship is a part of your life that needs your attention and care, but not surpassing your own self. When we start becoming self-reliant it helps us to realise the importance of our values. This further helps in setting up boundaries. When you have an understanding of yourself, it gets easier to define the areas where you'd compromise and areas which are important to your being.

Hence self-reliance, which is the ability to simply be complete within your own-self and not looking for others to define you is the step towards curating a healthy relationship.

Communication

Communicating with your partner also is an important method to solve conflicts. The silent treatment is a relationship killer.

It not only further builds the issues but can at times cause serious damage to the relationship. It's highly important that we communicate about everything that needs to be said with our partner. If we want something from them we should have the courage of letting them know.

It's wrong to assume that your partner should have known what you wanted. It's quite important to realise your partner cannot read your mind. Letting him know how you feel about a particular situation will help in building trust and understanding.

Communicating about what hurt you and how you appreciate certain things your partner does, helps in creating a friendship that is of the utmost importance in a relationship.

Effective Compromise

While realising your needs and wants it can help you to also understand the needs and wants of your partner. Now here is where the good compromise can come into play. You can both realise what holds value to both of you and can manage from there.

“Effective compromise is possible. Done well, it may actually feel like you’ve both gotten the better end of the deal. You’ve shared your needs. You have separated your relationship needs from your wants — those things that would be nice, but you could live without them without sacrificing your happiness.”- Relationship expert Tanya Fink

The journey of two partners can be a beautiful road if we first build a strong relationship with our own selves and then focus on building a healthy relationship with our partner.

Build a relationship where you can share yourself with your partner and them with you.