An Open Letter To Parents From An Indian Daughter
As I speak for myself, I also might be speaking for a lot of daughters out there, all in the same boat sailing in directions the society blows wind in. Here's an attempt to reach out to all those parents with daughters.
To those parents who raised us with love and affection, to those parents who always know what's best for us, yet forget to consider what we are interested in.
As daughters, we may grow old but will never grow old for you. We may become independent but do we really? At this point in life, we are considered as adults. Yes, maybe sometimes we do not completely act like it but that's part of life right?
Either way, we will always be your little girls.
That being said, I would like to address an issue with you. A subtle attempt at bringing to your notice things you may not otherwise realize.
Firstly I need you to know that I love and respect you very much. And I'm certain I've been a good daughter, like most of us here.
Mother, I am very well aware of the time and effort you put in bringing me up, the sacrifices you made so I could have anything I put my finger on. You've put in everything you had to make me what I am today then why do you feel the clock is ticking? Why do you feel that when I leave, I will not be yours anymore?
Sure every girl starts planning her wedding at a very young age, without realizing its complexity. Without realizing how her parents have planned it all their life and when the time comes, you will be given away.
What if I do not fancy that idea anymore? What if I've realized life has so much more in store for me? Bad news, I have. I have reasons for not getting married right now. I have plans for myself, I have plans to go into territories unknown, I want to learn, I want to explore, I want to experience, I want to make my own decisions, try, fail, try again and I want to do it all by myself.
So many things that I would like to do, even though I am an independent grown-up girl I cant without your consent.
Why is it so that we only get the luxury to live by our rules after we get married? How can someone, only a couple of years older get to take over your role?
I'm sorry but I think you skipped the part where I am the ruler.
Growing up, that's all I looked forward to. Being my own master.
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You raised me to be strong and fierce then why do you hesitate when I take charge?
Why is it that I can wear whatever after I get married and not now? I'm not getting any younger then why am I not allowed to live the way I want to?
If you've educated me well and made me capable enough to look after myself, why do you think its necessary to give me away?
Maybe some girls want to get married, some do not but most of us want to get married when we're ready for it. And I am not ready to get married now. I don't know when I will be ready but someday for sure. And yes it doesn't mean I had a broken relationship and I am not able to forget him. It's not an emotional one but completely concious and mature decision. Meanwhile, I want to take charge and do what I want to. All those things that I'll be too tired to do later. When I am burdened with responsibilities I cant be the free soul I am today. I do not want to live under the pressure of settling down or fear marriage. It's sad but it is true how you teach us to not get bothered by what others say and here I see you doing just what you taught me not to.
I am yours and it would break my heart to see how desperately you want to give me away. This is my home, my city, my life.
Let me do it all by myself.
Let me fly, let me take my time and most importantly, let me be ready!
R*****Thanks for writing this piece. It so much echoes my voice.