Five Habits Of Happy Mothers
One of the happiest moments in my life was when my son was born and I became a mother. All of you Moms out there must have experienced similar levels of ecstasy at that moment and as you would agree, soon began the adventures of Mommyhood. There are no instruction manuals for raising a happy and healthy child and we tend to simply follow our mothers and our motherly instincts to guide us through this exhilarating but enriching experience. And that’s exactly what I did. My mother practiced basic fundamentals of keeping life simple and being happy. I got to witness first-hand habits of highly happy people, especially mothers and soaked it up like a sponge and found a number of gems –fascinating, amazing and useful habits that have changed my life and will change yours too. I have put into practice these habits that have enabled me to stay happy from within, that doesn’t depend on external circumstances –the kind I call Happy for No Reason. And that’s what led me to pursue my passion for sharing my love and energy by inspiring other Moms to lead a happy life.
My research on happiness along with my own experience has led me to believe -You don’t need to have happy genes, win the lottery or become a Monk. You simply need to practice habits that will make and keep you happy. Very often, my friends, colleagues, peer Mom’s ask me ‘How do you always stay so cheerful and happy’? Honestly, I am surprised at their question, because that’s just the way I am. I have inherited my mother’s happy genes and also consciously practice positive and happiness-inducing habits that help me stay brimming with energy and joy and that sure is getting passed onto my son.
I have listed down the top five happiness habits that shall enable you to be a Happy Mom.
#1. Self - Love
People who practice this are always happy. If you love yourself abundantly, imagine the amount of love and energy that gets transmitted to our children, husband, family, friends and all those who matter to us. This may sound frivolous but is one of the most powerful techniques to be imbibed in life. Practice daily affirmations, tell yourself ‘I love you' and remember you cannot serve from an empty cup. As a parent, and especially as a Mom, there are several times when we think we are hopeless and no good. Turn down the volume of your inner critic and choose to be your best cheerleader. When we do self-love, it builds high levels of self-esteem and a positive image not only for ourselves but also for our children. They love to emulate us and they shall learn to self-love at a young age.
#2. No Comparisons
I know this is easier said than done and requires immense self-control. How we love to compare our child and hand them a report card every now and then for their academics, behaviour, etiquettes, extracurricular and so on. One of our biggest insecurities is when will our children be like the gold standard boys and girls? They will never be like them and its high time we learn to accept that and make peace with it. It must have been so tempting for my mother to compare her three children and create sibling rivalry, but thankfully she never did that. I was clearly the black sheep of the family, but a happy one and we were always encouraged to do better than our last performance. Create individual benchmarks and then encourage and urge the child to surpass those. This has been firmly etched in my mind. Finally, please remember if your children like certain aspects of their friend’s Mom better than you, they won’t hesitate to tell you about it and we all know how that would make one feel.
#3. Celebrate Basic Pleasures And Every Moment Of Joy
Whatever the reason, however small you may think it is, it’s important to enjoy it fully. Live in that moment and don’t worry about it just being a fleeting emotion or a pleasurable feeling or a mood. Whatever you appreciate, appreciates. Whenever you appreciate happiness that already exists in your life, like money in the bank, it appreciates. Register the positive. Once you notice something positive, take a moment to savor it. My secret formula for this: Intention, Attention and No Tension.
Every time your child does something good and makes you happy or vice- versa, do a dancing jig. I love being the Dancing Queen and dance like no one is watching ( for some inspiring moves, I love to watch Meryl Streep in Mamma Mia).
#4. Find Your Passion
Being totally honest and fearless, ask yourself ‘What am I passionate about? What do I love to do? What makes me happy?’ It could be anything that gives you happiness – being a teacher, a musician, a therapist, a baker, an image consultant, a writer, a yoga guru or simply a yogi. Anything that gives you happiness and makes your heart expand. After 16 years of toiling it in the corporate field, I finally realized my passion is sharing my love and energy as a Happiness Coach to inspire others to lead a happy life. In fact, when parents are passionate and pursue their dreams, it has a significant impact on the child’s mind and they start to follow ‘Do what you love, love what you do.’
#5. Have A Beautiful Garden
The people in your life are the garden surrounding your home for happiness. Cultivate nurturing relationships and invest in social capital, much more than what you do in the economic capital. Having deep and meaningful relationships in your life gives long-lasting happiness than any materialistic pleasures. When you are happy, you enjoy being with your children, family, and friends and you also enjoy spending time in your own company. Be fully present with your child and catch their emotions. Encourage them to build ‘emotional immunity’- friends, family and having pets. This helps to rest the balance of their biology towards greater happiness.
Wish you all a very Happy Mother’s Day!