Five reasons to be a "happy" working mother!
There is a never ending debate on the so called guilt of being a "working mother". There are statements, opinions, judgments and even verdicts on whether it is good or not so good. There are circumstantial justifications or feminist assertions that validate the ‘why’. Simultaneously there are forces that substantiate the ‘why not’.
Honestly, is it really such a big deal? Is it not a matter of personal choice? What you choose to do in your life is simply based on personal preference. Like, why did you choose to graduate in commerce versus science in college? Or whether you prefer fine arts over the corporate world? Why does this decision come with so much social baggage? My personal take on this,
- All good things make us Guilty – Think Chocolate, think wine, think some overindulgence at the SPA. So for all those who do feel guilty – drop it. Feeling guilty never stopped you from gorging on that last slice of cake or buying that overpriced outfit. It made you happy. If working makes you happy, then you will spread the same joy at home!
- The Grass is always Greener on the Other Side – You really cannot deny this, can you? It is simply human to believe that your metabolism is not half as good as your skinny friend (even though she is vegan and never skips her Pilates class and you'd rather sleep in for thirty minutes more than sweat it out). Similarly, you often assume your friend’s sister in law is so much more fun or that the in laws are so much more supportive. You imagine your homemaker friends spending afternoons at kitty parties or at the movies. Honestly, you don’t really imagine them slogging it at a stove or running car pool for the kids. So if you are actually in an air conditioned office, sipping green tea and making a presentation to your boss – life is honestly not that bad!
- You OWN the Designer Bag and the Cash inside it - The immense pride in swiping your card at a whim or deciding what car you want to drive is irreplaceable. Financial independence gives you confidence, freedom and control over your own life (and this is gender agnostic!) Also, this is one thing you can never feel guilty about! So whether you are a yoga instructor, a playschool teacher or a corporate honcho – the sweet taste of financial independence is addictive and worth your while.
- Absence makes the heart go fonder – All those who worry about the kids loving you any lesser, don’t. The relationship with your children is based on quality time, providing well managed care and lots and lots of love. All you lovely homemakers that spend a large part of your waking hours at home, I am sure your efforts are focused on the same. Working does not discount being an awesome mother!
- Practice makes Perfect – It is definitely not easy to balance so many roles and responsibilities. You are literally like a gymnast perfecting the balance and making it all look effortless. It gets easier with time, as practice makes perfect. Hang in there and make it happen – not for anyone else, but because this is what YOU want.
Life is all about choices. We always choose what is right for us. And like it’s often quoted, “All mothers are working mothers!” So own up your choice and enjoy it!
By Sonia Notani