50 Shades Of What She Actually Wants

Published on 10 May 2019 . 1 min read

sex for me is sex for me is

There are many connotations to the word sex. The repressed social tag that the word carries creates a mindset that breeds ignorance. Ignorance makes many people unaware of the true meaning of the act of sex. Sex is not only a physical act but also involves a huge emotional quotient. The right person makes your world spin on its axis. Sex can be beautiful when you can get into the act leaving the inhibitions.

This what the SHEROES community had to say on the subject

Sex is different for different people. We asked the SHEROES community what sex meant to them and 100’s of sassy SHEROES shared their interpretation of SEX.

The responses were quite interesting. While some women clearly thought that sex was overrated and had not much meaning in their lives, those numbers were few. The majority of women thought of sex as a way to get closer to their loved one.

Roughly 60% of the women held the view that sex was a meeting of the souls. They termed it a process to know their partners better and a way to deepen the relationship. The intimacy is deemed to be a way to express love and show care towards their partner. It is seen as a way to connect and find not only carnal but also emotional bonding. One participant called it deep love. Some looked at sex as a means to know your partner’s innermost thoughts.

While a majority called it ‘bonding’ a sizeable percentage of about 25% was of the view that sex is only ‘physical lust’. They see it as a purely physical sensation and saw it as a means to momentary pleasure only. It is seen as a basic natural instinct, like hunger or thirst, which needs to be fulfilled. It is satiation and pleasure and an urge that needs to be sated.

The rest of the answers were a motley mix. Some claimed that you do not need sex to express your feelings as true love never demands physical intimacy, while others looked at it as a pure pleasure that is inevitable with a person you like and are attracted to. Some looked at it as a stress buster. The variety of answers was staggering. Sex is definitely seen as different things by different women.

Some saw it as a power they have over their partner, while another woman saw it as a sense of vulnerability and power rolled into one. Some looked at it as a tool for continuity of the human race while others saw it as only a small part of a marriage that is built on love and trust.

The views on sex may be diverse but the basic point is that most women think of it AS AN EXPRESSION OF LOVE AND TRUST.

What Is Considered A High Sex Drive For A Woman?

There is no such thing as an average sex drive. The entire concept of high and low libido is misplaced. Sex drive is like the spectrum. Doctors also struggle to define “normal” or “abnormal sex drive”. Libido can be affected by mood, hormones or even the person you are with. Thinking about sex and even sexual desire is not directly linked to arousal in women; it is a mix of many factors.

It is healthier to recognize that it is ebb and flow and you could feel the need for sex differently at different times. You might need help if you are becoming obsessive about thoughts of sex and want to masturbate all the time. It may be due to an underlying hormonal or psychological problem and you might want to seek professional help. In most cases, it is perfectly alright for men and women to have different levels of sex drives. It is a happy situation if your sexual appetite matches your partner’s.

How To Recognize That You Are Happy With Your Sex Life?

There are hormones like serotonin, which is also called the happiness hormone that is secreted when sex is good.

This hormone activates the pleasure centres in the brain and stimulates happiness. There is a general feeling of well-being and cheerfulness. If you have a partner who is a constant in your life the sex can actually be better than casual sex.

Your affection towards one another can enhance the ecstasy. You are ready to share your fantasies with them and even indulge in sexual games that add to the pleasure. Applications like Tinder make this two-way communication easier, as you can meet like-minded partners online.

Women often have mind-blowing sex with a partner they are in love with. The technique does matter but what matters more is the willingness to look after the pleasure of your partner. Words matter to women. Men express more with actions. This divide can be bridged if women talk about sex, their pleasure and how to reach orgasm with their partners. Communication is the most powerful aphrodisiac during lovemaking.

How Does A Woman Feel During Sex?

A woman has many moods and her reaction to sex may be different at different times. Orgasms are not reached in every sexual encounter, but that does not mean that the pleasure has to be curtailed. The woman feels loved and secure if you allow her to take the lead in defining what pleases her. There has to be a comfort level in every act.

There should be no pressure to do things you are not comfortable with, and you should be open with your partner about it. Times are changing and a lot of information is available online on the subject. I have found in my stint as a counsellor that women look at sex differently from each other. The common thread is that they want romance, foreplay and a sensitive partner who looks after their pleasure too.

Sex can be pleasure personified, slow and sexy at times, fast and furious at others. There is no definition of what sex should make you feel. It should be a feeling that is happy, free, loved and fun. There are no boundaries to what is good or bad. Always follow your comfort zone. If your body and heart say yes, do it. Sex is a natural phenomenon but has come under too many restrictions and constraints from society.

It is not advisable to be promiscuous but seeking pleasure in sex with a loved one is definitely a big YES! Make sure you have safe words that show your partner that you are getting uncomfortable. It is important to use protection for health and safety from unwanted pregnancy. After these ground rules are established, feel free to enjoy the most ethereal sensations in the cosmos!

Sex may mean different things to different women, but Sex to me is ecstasy as my partner makes me feel like a queen.

Kanika Gautam
An ardent writer, a serial blogger and an obsessive momblogger. A writer by day and a reader by night - My friends describe me as a nocturnal bibliophile. You can find more about me on yourmotivationguru.com

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