Sexual Fluidity: An Experiment Or Phase?

Last updated 12 Dec 2016 . 4 min read

We live in a generation where people are learning to be open towards their sexuality. I mean, you can fall in love with anyone and all that matters is the connection of soul. I have come across people who have said, "I am experimenting around, don’t want anything serious." Hey! Who am I to judge you! It’s your life, your bed-choices. It is proven scientifically that a person’s sexual identity can change throughout his/her lifetime. It could be harmless 'touch and go' to hardcore romping in between the sheets.

I feel that sex, or at least cuddling, should be considered as a basic need in one’s life. For God’s sake, we are human beings and we long for warmth from one another. Let me talk about my experiences with sexual fluidity. I have gone from being straight to bisexual to gay to bisexual to being queer. I had convinced myself that being straight is the one way go until I was open to experimentation.

Now, people would wonder how that is possible. Once you are open to experimentation, you can be sexually fluid. Till date, I have seen women being more open to experimentation than men. There are findings all over the internet and books which state women’s sexual fluidity are far evolved than men’s. It’s seen as more socially acceptable for women to experiment with same-sex hookups. Why can’t men be open to experimenting? Or is it just hush-hush behind closed doors? Oh please! We live in freaking 2016. Time to grow up!

Sexual fluidity doesn’t mean when it doesn’t work with the opposite sex, to give it a go with same-sex. We aren’t playing see-saw with our love lives. It’s only when you are open to experimentation and know that it isn’t a phase in your life which will wipe itself away. It’s totally fine to love oranges during one part of your life to loving apple pie in the next. One bigotry we face in society these days is that are we are constantly trying to fit people in brackets. I don’t want to be in any bracket and that’s the very reason, why I call myself a queer man because my sexuality has been fluid throughout my life. I don’t find the need to fit into the general public’s brackets.

I have come across men, especially Indian men, who claim that they are bisexual until they are married to a woman. I don’t think you automatically turn straight when you meet your future wife. If you have met your soul mate, that’s a different thing. But using bisexuality as a crutch for all the reasons to cheat isn’t right. My point is, sexuality is fluid and there are chances that you will still be open to meeting a guy whether you are married or not. Stop feeling guilty about your sexuality.

Of course, with women, I have seen many instances at parties, where they were drunk and high and a harmless kiss did not hurt them. I was shocked initially, but the moment I opened up to experimentation, it was a realization that this was how women were comfortable with their sexuality. The reasoning I want to communicate here is that we all go through sexual fluidity in our lives. It isn’t wrong and you don’t have to be guilty about it. This is how human beings are with each other and let’s just celebrate our sexuality. So, let’s embrace our sexuality because we have only one life to live. Let’s live our lives to the fullest.

This article was originally published on Lovetreats

SHEROES - lives and stories of women we are and we want to be. Connecting the dots. Moving the needle. Also world's largest community of women, based out of India. Meet us at @SHEROESIndia

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