My Counselling Diaries: Battling Perceived Flip Side Of Motherhood

Published on 15 May 2017 . 5 min read

Motherhood is the best feeling, though I’m yet to go through it, but have seen women evolving after creating the most valued possession of their lives. Somehow they become more responsible and mature. Then how can this be taken as measure of professional incompetency? Yes, my counselling diary has many such instances; one of it is:

Experienced HR professional with 8 years of fulfilling career journey not only personal but brought laurels to the organisations she worked for. She reached us last month with her confidence shaken due to the unfair practices of her organisation.

Early this year, she broke the joyous news of pregnancy to her family. Doctor advised her to be on bed rest for 2 months. Sadly, due to some medical complications her pregnancy had to be terminated. The Husband came to her rescue supporting emotionally and helping her to get back to mainstream.

When she got hold of her life and bucked up to resume her work with same energies rather more rock strong to deal with difficult situations.  

Unaware of the terminated pregnancy, her manager offered a great deal, (obviously as per them) resignation in lieu of 2 months’ salary quoting the worst reason of incompetence to deal with the stress on the way with a new demanding project.  Her Gratuity was due in next two months and moreover she felt betrayed. She wanted to work to gain that self-esteem back barely knowing one more battle waiting for her.

During the counselling sessions she understood instead of getting overwhelmed she has to tackle the situation smartly although she had experienced bouts of self-doubt in between.

First step was to check her legal contract for termination conditions.

I want to continue as I can’t disappear just like. I want to leave with dignity and secondly, I don’t want to lose out on my hefty gratuity. After being in a company for more than 4 years at the end they’re asking me to leave which is really very humiliating”

She was well aware of terms of her employment that stated termination can be only in case there is a very strong reason like forgery, or confidentiality issues. Also either party should pay 3 months’ salary. Now this bothered her more, that the employer may blame her for something nasty and ruin her career ahead. As there was no clause for pregnancy, this definitely put  her in a stronger position.

She was to meet her manager in the next two days and wanted support in dealing with the situation. After conversation spreading over hours she decided to take this following the hierarchy from his manager to senior management and then to the redressal committee of her office. Next step on the list was to seek legal help if nothing works out within the company.

She met and without giving a chance to explain her current medical situation was offered 3 months of salary including for the month of March. But, was asked to agree for making resignation date as 1st March so that the last day would be 31st May falling 2 months short of 5 years so that they won’t have to pay the gratuity amount as per Gratuity Law.

After the counselling sessions she felt empowered as reflected in her words-

“You’ve given so much confidence you don’t even have any idea about it, you won't believe how I managed my anger yesterday when my boss was yelling at me, you gave me the courage to record everything to smash them in court. Thanks a lot for everything. I have already started sharing info with my friends. One of them had already sent you query related her career in CS I will recommend all AskSHEROES App

She was connected with two legal experts Ritu Agwekar  and Suhasini Rao who are Mentors with SHEROES. They explained her provisions of Gratuity Law and briefed her on how she can take this up legally.

She is set for the battle to prove that motherhood never leaves anyone weak but strengthens all of our personality traits.


Shakun Vijay
A focused counselling professional with 4 years of experience in the areas of individual, family, relationship, work life conflict , student, child behaviour problems, career counselling etc. A patient listener without an attitude of judging people with intent to help them process their thoughts and let out their pent up feelings and emotions. Also a keen communicator and an extrovert personality, who loves to read & write fiction, party hard and is a big foodie.

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