Gifts Your Mother Would Not Like On Mother’s Day

Every second Sunday of May month is celebrated as Mother's Day....to honour the woman who brought you to life, even if she adopted you.

And time is rushing in with just a few days to go. But that doesn't mean you have to impress her with whatever you could lay your hands on! Mother has spent her whole life on you, so even if you are late in selecting a gift, select a decent one for her. And puhleeeeeeez, strictly avoid the following ones, say, seven mothers, whom I spoke to...today!

1. Clothing and Makeup

Rashmi Sawant, a 57-year-old mom of two from Mumbai calls up, "Unless you surely know what your mom likes, you will totally screw this one. Make-up has to be matched with skin-tone as well as the age. Same applies to clothing. Each one has a different with passing age. Unless you are taking your mother along to buy her a gift of her choice, this act of your will be useless. She will not dump it, but might never use it. Or still, if you wish to buy her something from these - a subtle-shade universal nail paint or a headscarf to ward off the summer heat, again in a monochrome, pastel shade is the safest bet."

2. Something That is Actually for You!

A book, a movie, a play, a concert - ask her before you book it. Don't surprise her. Because your choice is actually your choice, for yourself and not her. She will probably drag herself to please you, but you might see later her snoozing through the ordeal!" asserts Sumona John, a 40-year-old mother to teenage twins.

3. Kitchen Supplies

"It is Mother's Day, right? She surely loves to cook for you, but don't push her to work in the kitchen again, by gifting her an appliance. What she needs is rest and not another day of ordeal cooking and cleaning," remarks Saraswati Das, a 35-year-old mother who ensures her mother gets a full-week vacation in the Mother's Day week. She ensures the holiday is planned according to her Mother and not her. No surprises, she says, since she believes as Mother deserves what she needs, rather than what is imposed on her.

4. A Pet

Saraswati adds, " For God sake, don't bring another kid to look after for her. She has already done her job doing the same for you. People, she needs care, she needs your time, she needs rest now! Spare her of the running-around, unless she demands a pet."

5. An Anti-Aging Treatment

"Anything that reminds her she’s getting older is a bad idea. And follow this rule not just for Mother’s Day, but for her every important day. if she needs such treatments, let her ask you to buy these. Don't impose these on her," says 61-year-old Vimal Sharma whose nieces are in the habit of gifting her sister with beauty products which are later passed on to other women in the family. She bursts out laughing while she informs me the same on phone. (I have a hearty laugh as well)

6. Breakfast in the bed, If you dunno How to Cook!

"Don't begin her day with a spoiler, rather you can order something a day before for breakfast. A mother will always appreciate your effort to cook, but you must ensure that the woman who has served you with the best meals in life, also deserves an equally good one on her day. Better let her sleep till late, book a brunch and surprise her by spending a good time with her," advises Arpita Singh Nair, a 40-year-old event planner in Sydney, Australia. Arpita ensures she visits her Mom either on Mother's Day or her Birthday every year and orders her favorite meals for breakfast since Arpita confesses she doesn't cook well.

7. Homemade Card, If You are Above 10

Nope, it is not cute anymore, is my personal opinion. The exception is for those who are designers and who have spent hours personally in making that greeting card!

8. Tatoo Dedicated to her on your flesh!

Amyra D'Silva works as a tattoo artist in Johannesburg, South Africa. She is a mother of three teenager-sons. The day her eldest son got a Tattoo done in her name on his right arm, she felt the pain of another mother and neighbour Fazila Khan. Fazila had driven down to her shop to scold her three years back, for inking one on her son's arm. Amyra recalls, "The day Johny, my 16-year-old got Amrya My Angel inked on his arm, I felt as if the inking needle had pierced my heart. I am a tattoo artist, but before that I am a mother. You are my flesh and blood; the pain your went through to get it inked is unbearable my son. A child must never do this. Spare the mother this pain!"

9. Cash

"Even if your mother is no longer earning, giving cash as a gift is a very bad idea. It is an indirect insult to her independence, when she brought you up, with all she once had. Look after her needs, but spare her special days," advises Moana Parthasarthy, mother of Harish Parthasarthy, an NRI who resides in Dubai and sends her cash when he is not around on her special days in Kerala, India. And Moana isn't very happy with the idea, that has been in action past five years now, despite her disapproval. And this time she decided to let Harish know it through SHEROES. "My daughter-in-law has the app with her; she too hates this idea being a mother. She reads a lot through this App and the article you have penned will strike the right chord," chuckles Moana, hopeful she will get a good time with her son this year, rather than cash!

10. Your framed Photo with Mom, But Without Siblings!

"For your mother, you and your siblings are like the part of the same body. She can never pick and choose one of them. So never frame a photo of yours with her, but without your siblings....unless of course, it is with your spouse and kids. The bigger the gathering, the happier her heart will be," says 69-year-old Gurpreet Kaur from Canada whose walls at home are adorned with family photos of her two daughters and two sons, but not without her! She tells me how every year the wall decor changes with newer framed images, she chuckles how these framed moments keep her going...she tells me how she has never felt the need to decorate walls with artifacts. Now, that's mother's love, isn't it!

11. Gadgets (If you aren't around to Explain The Usage)

This one comes from my second cousin's personal experience. "My mom Swati Sharma is a very technology savvy person at 70 years. Age is just a number in her case. But, over the years I have seen, that whenever we have gifted her a gadget without explaining it to her in person, she has either struggled with it or gifted it back to us. The same applies to my mother-in-law. So gift a gadget which is easy to learn and use or a gadget that she needs, may be being used by her friend so that she can get instant help to use it," advises Suman Sharma who lives in Bengaluru while her mother stays in New Delhi.  

12. Lingerie Means Unwrapping Horror!

"Mom and I are buddies, still this gift is a no-go on all levels. For you it might fall under the header “unconventional,” but still– NO NO, a BIG NO! I have seen my mother's friend unwrap it and the shocking expressions they had!" recalls Tom Singh Chadha, brother to a teenage sister whom he stopped from buying one this year!

A WORD OF ADVICE...

All said and done, in this busy life, our mother needs is a good time spent with you, not just one single day but frequently. She spent her whole life on you, so stop saying you are busy. Ask those who have lost their Mother...ask their hearts, they long to spend one moment with her, they pray for their Mom to come back, even for once...as repentance where they can be sorry.

So don't leave a SORRY to REPLACE YOUR MOTHER. Be with her, be by her side while she is alive. Happy Mother's Day to you all.