Is It Fair To Expect Women To Be Good At Mothering?
When it comes to life, you realize that going through different experiences over time matter more than anything else. Over time, you taste success, bump into failure and meet people who have gone through such journeys in their own ways, in some corner of the world. My work experiences introduce me to a varied set of people from different domains and cultures. One lady who I just met and yet was mighty impressed by is Priyanka Vermani. Writer, mommy, and innovator -- these sum her up but let's discover more of her, layers.
Not just a pretty face, Priyanka gave me a lot of realization towards making life click, despite all the baggage.
And that's what makes her a Sheroes. A Sheroes doesn't need to climb mountains to prove her mettle. She, just like Priyanka, needs to scale her life's new mountains and emerge at the top.
In my chat with her, she confided, "I had an extremely nice childhood. My father pampered us a lot. I was into debate and declamation in college. I loved reading books. In college and in my university days, I won 2 beauty pageants. My father motivated us to have high aspirations, taught us lessons from the Bhagwad Gita –
"Sabse upar soch, soch se karam, karam se gyan, gyan se lakshya, lakshya se moksha.."
He always inspired us to have a broader vision in life. My mom asked us to learn household things, cooking etc. but I and my sister focused more on what dad said and he spoilt us crazy but he wanted us to have good marks and focus on achieving something in life."
She definitely had the plus of having had an awesome early beginning but this is exactly what became a startling factor later on.
Priyanka and her husband were settled in London when their baby was born. At that time, she was an ambitious woman without a career and a baby that needed constant attention! Top it with household chores and no support system. She thought she could easily slip into depression.
Priyanka quips, "When you have that kind of upbringing and suddenly when you see life unfolding in front of you post-delivery – exhausting days, sleepless nights and overall a phase of life where you feel a sense of sheer purposelessness. Was it postpartum depression or not, I don’t know.”
Priyanka shares – “At that time anyone, who would meet me and say bringing up kids is easy or our kids don't trouble at all, I would shut myself away from such people as that would make me feel even worse about my ability to cope up with this new phase of life.”
Priyanka feels women and men are brought up equally, educated equally, but women are not exposed to what life entails after motherhood which is so unfair.
She gushes that she had always been a very thin person, underweight too. Accepting her new body weight and shape was hard. It was at this juncture that she started writing her motherhood experience. She says with a sigh – “Writing felt cathartic.” She also started writing a blog, that helped in giving some positive direction to her otherwise overwhelming thoughts and feelings.
Priyanka's adorable daughter Samaira
Priyanka also observed some fascinating development milestones of her daughter. She says,
“I was amazed at the child's ability to outwit an adult. All kids do that. Mine was not a ninja or something. But I wanted to capture those moments, create a journal. I clicked a lot of pics, but I wanted to do more. And that's how came the idea of a comic book.”
She traveled extensively in London, made a lot of friends. So, she weaved travel, friendship and her daughter’s growing up experiences in form of a comic book.
She took charge of her weight and resolved to lose the extra kilos, so she started walking.
That led her to discover the beautiful parks in London. Her baby who made trouble at home was awesomely good outside - in the stroller. Each day, for a couple of hours, Priyanka began to reevaluate life - observe nature, accept reality and try to find a direction. She read blogs online, took her daughter to various mommy-toddler sessions. At one such session, she came across a poetry contest that saw her featured among 100 Poets writing an ode to London. This was a huge boost to her confidence.
This phase of life gave Priyanka the courage and crux to make a new career track.
She is a proud author of this awesome comic book - Samaira and the Gang in London, which is available for purchase on Amazon. (Samaira, incidentally is her daughter’s name)
Priyanka Vermani is currently working as a Senior Content Marketer with a parenting brand called WOW Parenting, whose tagline is Let’s Make Parenting Fun. That's not an irony but she believes that with her overwhelming parenting challenges, she can understand the importance of making parenting a happier and fun journey. Priyanka wishes to be a proactive parent and her book reflects what qualities she desires for her little one to imbibe.
D*****Kudos to you, Priyanka!