When Life Became Tough, A Working Mother Turned Out To Be Tougher
Today *Neha is an HR but her life has not been an easy one.
She spent her childhood in Assam. Youngest of three daughters with progressive parents in those days when daughters were so unwanted, Neha and her sisters went not just to school but to an English medium one. “Our father kept us with him wherever he went, against the wishes of the whole family. He himself had seven degrees to his name and always wanted us to stand on our feet and be self-dependent. That’s where all my strength came from,” she recalls. She went to Bangalore after graduation and worked for six years in corporate firms, before getting married. After marriage, she settled down in Delhi as the first step towards her new life. So far she was getting a fair share of problems and happiness.
The Beginning Of Her Struggle
Neha had to take a forced sabbatical due to a complicated pregnancy. The new life growing inside her became her priority over work. But life became more complicated after her son, Sunny was born. She went through postpartum depression. She desperately looked for a job. Read a lot of newspapers and browsed the internet, but failed to find a job appropriate for her. Life seemed to get stuck at this point.
Life Gets Tougher
Her son was diagnosed with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder or ADHD. Since Sunny was only two years old, her husband started travelling for work and she stayed back alone with the baby. Most of the time he was on tours, making it increasingly difficult for her to take care of Sunny. However, she got back to work when Sunny was exactly two years and nine months old.
Sunny was undergoing proper treatment and was being taken care of by his working mom, single-handedly. When Neha first rejoined after her sabbatical, she had totally lost confidence as it was a long gap and she had a hyperactive child, who needed special care. But after she started working, she was able to handle the whole HR function of the organization efficiently alone for quite some time, as the manager went on a long maternity leave. She proved her talent within a period of four months flat. Her remarkable comeback was the fruit of her faith in her own abilities. She says,
“It is all in our hands. We have to believe that we can do it.”
The Toughest Choice
As if problems weren't enough, Neha had to face a tough choice soon. Her husband was transferred permanently to Guwahati. He wanted her to shift with Sunny. Considering job opportunities and good treatment for her child, Neha was in a dilemma.
“I had to make a choice. But then, staying back was even tougher, as that would mean handling an ADHD child all alone. I didn't know what to do.” She decided to seek help.
“That’s when I approached SHEROES. Sometimes when the choices are tough, you need someone to show you the right way. The lady at the helpline cleared my mind. She told me staying here all alone and managing everything would be tough but much better for our future.”
According to her, there was not much scope of treatment back there in Guwahati. It was challenging as going there would mean a few career options and a pay package even lesser with longer working hours. Sunny needed education and time as well. Neha pulled herself together and decided to stay back.
On A Break Again
Her job in a media organization had taken a toll on her son’s health. From September 2017 she has been on leave. She reads and writes articles and stays at home spending quality time with her son. She hopes to get a flexible job someday. “I acted according to the advice of SHEROES and now everything is under control,” she beams. She is planning to join work again.
Life Is Stable Now
An experienced HR by profession, the strong and independent lady says,
“When the going gets tough, the tough get going. We all have potential, just need the determination to do it.”
She is happy now and always ready to accept changes. She is a SHERO who moulds herself in accordance with life’s choices and comes out with a smiling face. She looks back only to gain strength.
“Meanwhile I was nearly dead due to swine flu, death too had to lay down its arms you know!” she concludes with a laugh.
*Names have been changed on request.
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R*****Hi , truely inspiring. More or less my story is same too. However, my kid is doing well by God's grace. Otherwise situations I faced are almost same. My husband had to go onsite. I had to go on a sabbatical leave for my kid's welfare as it was getting tougher everyday when my husband had left abroad managing work and my baby. Everyday I wake up with that burning thought of getting back to work someday and balancing work and family. Hoping that things will settle down soon and that day is not too far when I start working again. My best wishes to all the women who have put their family first; taken a step back for a while and aspiring to join work again.