The Positivism I Did Not Understand.
It was the last month that I had been going through probably what we term it as "our extremely low times". It had been a long time since certain excitement had barged in my life with a surprise. Lazy to do anything productive, I was merely pondering over the thoughts that might, somewhere, be hidden behind my conscious. When the day was churning out to be filled with boredom, I effortlessly approached the social media to be a little enlightened. I am unaware if this happens with many but I always tend to come across articles or examples that make me feel belonged. Few minutes of skimming on Facebook and online publishing portals, I finally came across links on "What keeps us going."
Many researches and readings have been done to make humans positive and uplifted. I personally, in my lifetime of exposure, have came across few out of the tons waiting for me. Different efforts with similar approaches stood their basic forums on the how we shall self appreciate and invite the light to shine over. Listening and adsorbing (I'll explain why I did not use 'absorbing') to it over and over again before as well, I wondered why I ever forget the hopeful side in me. I gathered myself up, decided to only think positive, look up callings that I wished for.
Onto the fair part, I felt brilliant the first two days of my decision. No lousiness and certainly no hopelessness. Well, it surely did not happen on its own. I had to persistently fight my insecurities to keep up with my stand. Days passed by and the efforts fell short because expectations for good happened to rise.
"I was doing what the successful did after all"
The process of transition taxed a lot on me. I had minimized my communication with both my personal self and the outer world. I had to be focused in a way which could justify my genuity for the change. I was into articles, methods and had myself literally glued to the laptop screen for successful stories or hacks. I wanted things to turn desperately. My smiling face surely has been a good cover up to the stress that I garnered and had been watering somehow.
Did I learn anything?
A lot. Many keys to the door of positivity and success.
Could I apply them?
I tried and failed many a times.
It had been two weeks and no progress could be done. Holding onto the thought of the next morning, I left my life to simply flow.
The glorifying truth had come across to me through one word that one day I had encountered on my way back home. The word was Faith. I lacked this biggest asset. I lacked the confidence, trust in myself to do good for me.I am well aware that failures take that from you. It squeezes this particular fuel out from your engine. Retaining it is difficult , though the right difficult known could only help me reach the right easy quickly.
I knew I had certain strengths but I believed to trust the external source more and that is where I abandoned me. Remember when I had said adsorbed? Adsorbed is a pole apart term from Absorbed. With just one letter, the difference comes through my degree of understanding the theory. I failed to absorb, refract the in depth reason for it. I failed to question why and simultaneously look for the right answer. I adsorbed or had a surface redemption of this certain conjecture.
Faith is beautiful; The key to every solution for major problems. I instantly connected to it and realized that no matter how there are many branches to the huge tree of optimism, the roots were strong of faith.
Instead of thinking in a way that "Good will happen to me. I will be successful. I will have an amazing day." I started to frame myself with just one phrase, "I know me. I have it in me." You have it in you. Good is bound to happen if you realize that.