How to Be Happy in a Relationship

The secret to strong and happy relationships is not dating and roses (although they won’t hurt your chances) but the ability to give up conservative wisdom and follow your instincts. 

Couples who rely on relationships that have been tested by time and examples on the side rarely come to something of their own. Their relationship is gradually reduced to frustration rather than an optimal solution for the two of them. 

Relations should be dynamic, organic and reflect what is happening between the partners at the moment. Here are some tips that will help you break the rules and strengthen your relationship with your lover.

#1. UNCONDITIONAL LOVE DOES NOT EXIST

The purest love is love without conditions, right? At least that's what they told us in childhood. But in real life, unconditional love rarely happens. 

This is a beautiful fairy tale that creates very low standards of relationships that you can meet women online, date, have children, and live happily ever after not doing anything extra. 

A partner should not think that any of their behavior, no matter how bad it is, will be forgiven and understood. Of course, there are difficult times in a relationship that needs to be experienced and endured, but if the partners take each other for granted, they simply stop respecting each other's comfort zone and the limits of tolerance. 

Limitations must be set in love, as they help to see warning signs: financial irresponsibility, emotional abuse, sexual ignorance or inaction. All this can harm your relationship, and eventually, they will destroy it completely.

#2. THE MORE YOU GIVE – THE MORE YOU RECEIVE

Everyone knows that in a relationship, we must carry our own load. But relationships are far from always being 50 to 50. Any one partner’s actions can change the relationship as a whole. 

Despite the fact that the limits are already set, it is sometimes useful not to demand more but to give more. If your relationship is strong enough, then your desire to give your partner more will certainly be met with reciprocity, although not immediately. 

70% is not sacrificing, but your desire to show how you value and love your partner, even if sometimes they do not do what you would like. 

#3. SELFISHNESS IN BED

Sexually satisfied couples know what they need, first of all, for their own pleasure. Only after they get what they need can they take care of their partner’s pleasure. 

If you both do everything to make yourself happy, then it will be easier for you to give pleasure to each other. 

Do not expect your partner to do what you dream about, or that pleasure happens all by itself - make the beautiful happen here and now. 

#4. DO NOT PAUSE OR TAKE A BREAK

A pause is an alternative to parting, which was popular in the school years when you and your partner had neither life experience, nor responsibility, nor desire to solve problems. 

This is normal. But in a serious relationship, pauses are just an attempt to delay decision making. It may seem to you that while you are on this break, everything is gradually getting better, you are letting go of negative emotions, and, having returned to the relationship, you can feel that everything really got better. 

But this does not mean that everything has changed. Spending the night outside the house, with parents, just to cool down is one thing. But to start living your own life, not knowing how your partner lives now, is an indicator that your relationship is falling apart, and you won't save it if you don't change anything.

#5. THEY ARE YOUR ONE AND ONLY

This is a myth or a fantasy about finding your soulmate. If not, they do not suit you. This is a waste of time. 

Everyone around says that if you are with the right person, then only happiness and joy are waiting for you, and stress is the first indicator that something is wrong. But in reality, this belief only harms the relationship. 

If you want your partner to change, change yourself first. Be a model of who you want to see next to you. 

If you don’t like that your partner is always late, doesn’t wash the dishes, or is selfish – look at yourself to see if you’re doing the same. 

Of course, if you already live according to your ideals and have unmet expectations that your partner is not willing to fulfil, re-read tip No. 1 again. Invest in your relationships and co-create them the way you want them to be.

To be happy, you actually need to work on your flaws as a partner, invest time and effort into your relationship and devote time to its growth and evolution. 

Yes, this can consume a lot of time and energy. But instead of waiting for your partner to do it, don't you think it’s easier for you to lead by example, so you can take the relationship where you want it to go?