Don't Start New Year With Old Resolutions

Last updated 2 Jan 2018 . 6 min read

Are you all set for the coming year? You must be looking forward to making this the year your dreams came true, at least some, if not all of them. You may have decided what to really focus on. Or could be looking to start afresh.- maybe grow a fledgling dream or nurture a growing one. There are goals to achieve, resolutions to live up to and target to catch up on. To have more or be more or both.


Every new year, I always had some carryover goals to which I would add new short-term ones which were on my sizzling list and then make long-term ones which gave me some something to work towards. There was also the dream variety wrapped in wishful thinking that I hoped would magically come true. A lot of these goals were to do with the things that I felt were missing in my life. Looking back, I realize most of the goals had to do with work, health, relationships, finances and even personal development. Don’t you think we spend most of our energy on reaching goals, often ignoring the path we take to reach them? And often this path is what determines the outcome.


What does getting to your goals cost you as a person? Is it energizing, uplifting and motivating or does it cause stress, turmoil or pull you down?


Every goal is not going to be achievable but every journey can be worth it. That is if we focus on going in deeper and looking at it as a purposeful process of self-discovery, self-acceptance and love. Ask yourself - Is this what I want to be? Who will I turn out to be if I go along with this? Do I really want to be that person? Does this diminish me or add to me?


If this sounds vague and woolly to you, let me put it plainly. The most important goal is YOU and the most important resolution you make is to grow yourself. Everything else will fall into place. Manage yourself, manage your body and manage your mind.This will help you manage your work, manage your relationships and manage your finances, Everything around you is just a reflection of who you are within.All you need to do is make space in your life to create your life for more effective and efficient living.


Here is what our bucket list for the year should read like:


On top of the New Year list should be a loving note to yourself - full of kindness and compassion. Nudge yourself to discover what you want to add to yourself this year - more courage, more willpower, more assertiveness, more generosity, more discipline, more laughter? Remember it is what you want to add not what you want to take away.


The second item should be a note of gratitude and everything and everyone in your life - the good, bad and ugly, including gratitude for where you are today and who you are with because that is the point from where you will grow and develop. Remember this is where you bring in the awareness of your interconnection with others and their importance in your life, with a heart of gratitude and appreciation.


The third item is in self-care.What do you do to heal your body and mind? It could be getting adequate sleep, changing your eating habits, starting a yoga class, walking regularly or breathing in deep, going for a makeover or grooming yourself well, dropping a habit or working on a health issue.Take help but take care -this is something we need to work on our DNA because most of us are pathetic at self-care.


Fourthly, learn and read - read and learn and never stop learning. A spiritual master once said,’’the day you feel you know everything, is the day your spiritual decline begins.’’.As women we are better at diminishing rather than growing ourselves.But promise yourself to learn a new skill every year.It could be anything - the piano, guitar, bakery, mountaineering, swimming, tennis or pottery.It could be professional creative. After all, there should be something to show for living through 365 days.


Fifth and most vital - get still and centered. Keep up with or start with any meditation practice - chanting, mindfulness or yogic dhyan. It will help deal with any potentially tense or difficult situation life throws up. Besides you, reactions become considered, calmer and wiser. I presently have this on top of my list because of how beneficial it has been in my life.


The world will go on. The problems, issues, challenges, and situations will remain. How we choose to move on or stay behind is a choice we make. At the end of each day, week, month and the year, you should be able to look yourself in the mirror with pride, love and a smile. And a knowing glint in your eye because you are making the most of your time here, this year.


Monica Majithia
A Life Coach , Psychologist and trained Counselor specializing in Educational and Vocational Counselling. A UGC certified lecturer ,I have researched on gender studies, taught post graduate students and published research articles on women's careers during my Fellowship.I am an active member of an NGO called Bharat Soka Gakkai working in the field of peace ,culture and education .Growth ,Communication and Interaction keep me going and I love to see women work their magic.

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