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priya asked

Helllo Avani,\n\nI am 30 year old, unmarried \n\nI am suffering Searching life partner for marriage
Helllo Avani,\n\nI am 30 year old, unmarried \n\nI am suffering Searching life partner for marriage but due to highly expectation and demanding from boys /family (should be working girl and engineering background girl) getting rejection so my parents facing this problem /how solve this problem .\n\nBut i would like to marry who should not be insecure in life.\n\nbut my parents want i should marriage before 30 \n\ncould you please suggest me what should i do on this critical situation? \n \n
16 Nov 2016, 06:36pm
Hi priya ,\n\nThank you for writing in ! \n\nAssuming that your parents are important to you and that you do want them to be happy, it might be best to sit them down and have a serious talk with them. Explain that you agree with them that marriage is important and that you're looking for a life partner on your own.\n\nIf you and your parents come from a culture where the parents are expected to play a part in this search, then share what you're looking for in a life partner. Emphasize that you want to be friends first with this person because you want to be sure that you truly are compatible before you complicate matters with sex (which marriage inevitably does) or dating.\n\nThen allow them to express their concerns and their point of view. Listen to those concerns in full. Do not rebut them until they’ve had their say. Thank them for their good suggestions. Address only those issues that they’ve gotten entirely the wrong idea about, and only those so much as you correct their misperception of who you are and who you want to be with as a result of that. Don’t utter the words, “You’re wrong.” Don’t place blame. They do want what’s best for you, right? (If they don’t, that’s a whole different issue.) If they’re critical of you being picky, point out that marriage is a long time to be miserable together and remind them that you’re the kind of person who has to try something out before you know it’ll work for you (You are, aren’t you? Or you’d be married already.). They may have made their marriage work on the fly, but you do things differently and that’s okay too.\n\nI think that would help, assuming that everyone wants what’s best for everyone else.
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Hi priya ,\n\nThank you for writing in ! \n\nAssuming that your parents are important to you and tha

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