From A Woman In Self-Doubt To SHEROES' Champion: Rwituja's Journey

Today in the #MeetTheSheroes Series I take you to meet Rwituja Gomes Mookherjee - a SHEROES Champion in the Love, Sex and Relationships Community.

Women at SHEROES simply love to go to her and take advice. Just take a look at her SHEROES profile...

Now you might ask me, why are we meeting Rwituja? Why not a woman who turned to become a SHERO post her advice? Or for that matter why not other women who aspire to be her? Well, Let me show you a few images of the blog she wrote a few years back...

In short to sum it all, once this lady who is now a champion at SHEROES, Rwituja accepts," I was an emotional wreck, not just because I suffered from 'what-will-people-say-syndrome' but also because I had been childless for 10 years. To add to the woes, my corporate career came crashing down after 13 long years of service."

And that's when she got to know about FLEXIMOMS an erstwhile avatar of SHEROES which she joined for job opportunities. She mentions on her blog how the only thing she trusted then, was her writing skill and began writing articles around love, life and relationships.

Rwituja recalls," Over the years, I had a daughter and while raising her, I became a mentor author at SHEROES. Fleximoms upgraded itself to SHEROES and so did I as a person. My outlook towards life changed because suddenly I was reading inspiring stories about women who had created the life they wanted instead of simply surviving it. It encouraged me to put myself out there. Personally, the Sheroes Summit this year was deeply satisfying as I met Sairee who I’ve always admired from afar. "

The woman who calls herself a Mumbaikar at heart, is a Bengali from Kolkata who is now based in Bengaluru....but is available for one and all across the globe through SHEROES. She is an M.Sc in Psychology from the University of Calcutta; Certified in Life Skills Training; Certified in Transactional Analysis 101 and is also Trained in Family and Couples Therapy.

"Mahima one has to be able to understand the other person. So I trained to be a mental health counselor. This yet again brought me back into the fold of SHEROES. Today I’m a Champion of their Love and Relationships Community providing emotional support to women and helping them deal with their personal issues. And let me tell you, it is not my job, it is an inseparable part of my life. I also do personal one-on-one counselling for clients and interactions on marital preparation," asserts a very confident and focussed Rwituja who has also worked with the British Council in the past. There she was handling projects in Human Rights (Women’s rights, Child rights, Domestic Violence, CSA, Gender discrimination, etc). And this she says only added up to her humanly understanding of women and what they face in life....and how their lives can be made better.

She says that she also has her disturbing days when she gets queries regarding intimate partner violence; pressure to get sexually involved just to “prove” that they love their partner, etc. But then she says she has to compose herself and address these issues mostly by "raising questions and trying to make them look inwards, acknowledging their feelings and highlight a different perspective."Mahima, it’s always easier to expect others to change but the one person we have total control over ourselves is us. And I try to find a solution for them through their own living, their own insights," asserts Rwituja.

She also says that some of her traits to be fiercely independent, come to her from her parents, who raised their two daughters as equals. "Baba’s resilience always inspired me to look at life differently. Ma initiated my understanding into the restrictions and patriarchal double standards that bind women by encouraging me to read specific books to believe in myself, and find the strength within to stand up for myself in the face of adversity."

She wants her six-year-old daughter to have the same foundation as a child. But one thing that she wants for her child and all young as well as older women to learn is - IT IS NEVER TOO LATE TO START. She says, "I learned this not just through SHEROES, but also through my life that I have spent living across India in various cities (first due to her father's job and later her and her husband's). In every place, I explored sides of me which I didn’t know existed. I evolved as a human being."

A human being? I would call her a master juggler - as her CV reads "From being a wife, homemaker, SAHM, Work from Home professional, transcriber, award-winning blogger, content writer, mental health counsellor I play each role as and when required."

Phewww...and that too in twenty-four hours a day? How she manage it? Rwituja laughs, " We have two kids now– My daughter’s six years old while my paw-son Muffin (a Golden Retriever) just turned 4 years early December. Work-life balance for me meant everything had to be at par within that word 'balance' and I was just struggling to do that. Now I simply address it as a quantum of time. So now I complete one task and move on to the other, take a break, switch priority, hustle to meet deadlines, make notes and to-do lists for almost everything. As I wear too many hats there’s absolutely no point in pushing myself to remember everything. I simply try to do my best and move on."

In short, she shatters the myth of a SUPERWOMAN...in fact her answers questions me - WHY CAN'T WOMEN BE JUST WOMEN IN THEIR OWN CAPACITY? WHY DO WE NEED TO BE A SUPERWOMAN? Perhaps this question will help more women evolve as a person...

But then who is Rwituja, if she isn't a superwoman as many perceive? She laughs yet again, "Rwituja is her own supporter and promoter. Being an introvert she loves one-on-one conversations. I also love playing Sudoku, binge-watching crime serials (I would have been a Criminologist If I had studied more and in the right direction.). Also, I love listening to the latest Bollywood item numbers. I cry watching adverts, serials, movies, I enjoy driving alone and using cuss words from the safe confines of my windows rolled-up in the car!" And this time we both burst into laughter.

I can now clearly hear her paw-son Muffin and daughter tugging on to her for a play-run in the park. So Rwituja leaves me with a message for all women who are reading this through SHEROES...

"Self-care is primary to survival. You’re not selfish, bad, horrible, wrong when you decide to look out for yourself. It makes you human. If you’re taken care of, then extending care to others become easier."

If Rwituja Gomes Mookherjee life has inspired you even one bit, don't forget to share it with others. Your one share will end up making another life better. And also don't forget to leave some love for Rwituja in the comments Column.