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Shakun Vijay
25 Jan 2017 . 4 min read

How To Ace Being A Weekend Mom


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Women who can relate to this term would have sank in guilt with the heading itself. Though the ones in this situation for long (and those who enjoy their work) feel it only when someone pokes them with something that is not even remotely appropriate and are back to work within minutes.

I hope for God to shower peace on to one’s NEW in league. Don’t worry, this does not signal being unemotional at all. It is also perfectly fine to keep your work as a #Priority too. I know all of you silently utter this everyday “damn it, it’s my life, and I have my rights still reserved even after being a Mom” so why not accept it openly?

Primarily there are 3 situations that make you a “Weekend Mom”

1. Unending work hours of corporate world.

2. You’re posted in city other than the one where your family lives.

3. You’re a free soul and want to live without changing yourself irrespective of any important life event, be it marriage or motherhood.

First is too common and you have peers in the same situation relieving you of it. We as humans feel comfortable with more people around in similar trouble.

Second situation is quite difficult, leaving you juggling between two cities and getting exhausted physically, emotionally and financially. Another bolt here is when you feel your child is drifting towards the people taking care of him/her. Thanks to Facetime, Video call and all new age technologies acting as ointment on the “physically away” burn.

Last is the category where all YOU and I wish to fall, but how, is a big question?

Here comes the answer:

1. Accepting things helps not only psychologically but also in taking its responsibility and devising mechanisms to deal with it. Daily rituals when practiced strictly lessen the affect like a nap time story over call, ofcourse there should be a back plan when it is not possible.

2. The child should be trained not to attribute every event to only Mom being AWAY, as how many moms living near do such things on a daily basis? Come on, be honest and don’t try to be EXEMPLARY.

3. It’s not at all about the hours you spend with your child that goes into personality development. It’s about spending quality time. If you are all the time engrossed in gadgets and fictitious people (yes they are when you don’t meet them otherwise in ages), you give your child a rather negative experience of being less important than all such nonsense things.

4. Meaningful time can be spent by developing interests in child that would lead to creation of memories like fun sand activity, going out for topping up weekly utilities, cooking a meal or any other things your child would look forward to whole week. Remember the visit to the “SubjiWala” with your parents? It must be still alive somewhere, connecting you with them in memories and bringing smiles when you ask for that free lime?

5. Spare your child and stop expecting him/her to be a trained Honcho. Treat them like kids, neither grownups nor soft toys. Both distort personalities later in life. Apart from yourself and the child, everyone at home needs training, be it family, friends (especially the ones who keep pitying child for mom being not around as children tend to take advantage out of it), support staff or people at office, on how to deal at the time of crisis. This is mechanism building that of course can’t take your place of being physically around but definitely makes your presence FELT.

Weekend Mom, and acing it? Share with us your story. 

 

 

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Shakun Vijay
A focused counselling professional with 4 years of experience in the areas of individual, family, relationship, work life conflict , student, child behaviour problems, career counselling etc. A patient listener without an attitude of judging people with intent to help them process their thoughts and let out their pent up feelings and emotions. Also a keen communicator and an extrovert personality, who loves to read & write fiction, party hard and is a big foodie.

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