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2 Feb 2017 . 5 min read

Do I Need To Take Probiotics?


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Right off the bat - What Even Are Probiotics ?!


Probiotics are beneficial bacteria that help populate your gut with “good” bacteria to support digestive health. Balanced intestinal flora are not just important for digestive health … but 80% of the immune system lives in your gut, so this will strengthen the immune system as well. Microbes, those tiny single-celled organisms too small to see with the naked eye, are our friends—at least, the ones that live inside our gut and on the surface of our skin.


These things are alive things you eat so your things don't implode and die. First off, they taste oh so good, if not better than the all the flavoured tonics and potions in the world. They have a more earthier taste than the saccharine camouflage of their counterparts.


But if just taste were enough we would all eat more bananas than Schezwan-Noodle-Podi Chutney-Combination Vadapav ! In our current lifestyles like variable APR, antibiotics draw us in as little transactions seem innocuous - a little flu here , that's an antibiotic. A bit of stomach upset, that's an antibiotic. Some pimples on the face, let's drown them in Accutane. We decide to splurge on antibiotics to the point where we kill off all the good flora ( ain't no fauna in there ) inside our bodies. That is not always a good thing - there are plenty of reasons why < link here : http://www.health.harvard.edu/staying-healthy/what-you-should-know-about-probiotics > - but I am here to talk about what you can do to help solve the problem. After you talk to your doctor of course. IF YOU SELF MEDICATIN' , YA NASTY. No matter how much you surf the internet, a 5 year education for a MBBS cannot be replaced.

Probiotics help directly with digestion issues and hence with our immune and even neurological systems. Confused ? I kid you not, 80% of our immune system is in our digestive tract. I was chomping on a McMaharaja when I learned that in college and have always felt a little ~vomitty ( I know the word nauseous, vomitty is not nauseous man - it's a different level ) at the thought of eating massive amounts of junk food now.


As you chew your daily dose of antibiotics, you can almost hear them laughing, amused at your pointless mastication. Despite your best efforts at umm..evacuation afterwards, it quickly becomes clear that all the stuff you have eaten while on those antibiotics, has now taken up residence, intact, in your stomach, snaking it's way up your trachea, lovingly named Acid Reflux, and down through your intestines < Alllllllllllll the different terms for poopy pants > ; transforming your body into a gassy gelatinous injected creepy crawler mold.

 

But once you get some good old prebiotics or probiotics in you - Get ready.


This residency is now only temporary. Like a high profile hotel guest gone off the rails, probiotics will stay long enough to party all night with the lump of ummm..nitrogenous waste all up in your intestines, wake up those in adjacent rooms < cleansing gallbladder and liver >  and thoroughly trash your metaphorical digestive presidential suite, until they amble (still impossibly victorious) out the lobby doors of your bowels in a slow trickle with the other guests much like on the Monday morning of a three-day holiday weekend.


One by one, still fully intact, all these nitrogenous waste lumps will exit with what seems like all of your bodily gases, as if your colon was a crowded water slide on a hot summer's day. What's that? The slide is closing? Weather in the area you say? Sweet relief. Until the clouds part and the deluge of traffic continues, once again turning your ummm..sphincter into an intersection in Mumbai.


When you've fully populated your septic system with these (again fully intact and kicking) biotic nomads the next day, you'll begin to question your choices in food and medicine-popping-frequency throughout your life (you have got some considerable alone time to fill as you sit, ravaged, staring into the void of suddenly available 20 extra minutes everyday ).


Now which probiotic to take for what ?


Well - there is far too much about this on the internet, and I am not going to be able to keep you interested in reading this by rattling off some literal greek and latin. But here's the basics after which YOU TALK TO YOUR DOCTOR.


Lactis is best for immunity , Longum is best for some poopity , Bifidum is best for acidity and Breve is what they put in acne creams.


Now as the sun oozes over the horizon tomorrow , marking the end of the porcelain reign of terror, you can mindlessly eat some probiotics simply by having some Yogurt in the morning, be interrupted during lunch by a mad dash to the microwave to heat up some Miso soup. Or brush up on your Asian Cuisine by making Facebook status worthy Kimchi, or just buy some Natto from the quaint little international food store whose supermodel-looking employees always remind you to check your weight and do a mental inventory of the gym facilities you have access to.


But you can decide not to make any plans that involve areas without readily available bathrooms for a few days after your Doctor helps you figure out which probiotics you should try. Unless you like having you day cut short by a low, progressive rumble in the jungle ...


 


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< She Learns As She Goes > 20-something Mumbaikar | Psychologist | Writer | Imperfect | Feminist | Bibliophile | Adventurer | Tea Snob | Mum to two dogs I blog under this pen name. Thanks for dropping by. Maybe you’ll stay and get to know me (and even like the place!) even though I don’t have a face.

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