A Letter to My Ex Best Friend
I was going through my memory box today and a lot of the stuff in it, involved you. It sent me back to the good times and I almost texted you…..
But then, I realized that you’re a stranger to me now.
It’s been months now since, we last talked. It’s crazy, right? In just a year, we went from being inseperable to complete strangers. If someone would’ve asked us a year ago, if we could see our lives without each other - we would’ve laughed and said, "No!"
But, here we are.
I would be lying if I said that, I haven’t thought about you or I didn’t miss you. ‘Cause I do miss you, a lot. So many things have happened since we last talked, I wish that I could share it all with you. And there have been times when I picked my phone to text you but, it would strike me then that you’re not that person anymore; It’s especially sad because for the longest time, it seemed like you’d be the person who’ll be a constant in my life.
I also miss being close with your family, being able to call your home, “my home” as well. It’s crazy how things can change in such short time. I hope that you don’t hate me for walking away like, I did. I hope that one day, you’ll understand that I “had” to do it or else, we would have never known just how toxic our friendship had become.
There are things that I know I shouldn’t have done, same goes for you. We are both to blame for our friendship being as unhealthy as it was. Though it was unhealthy, we shared a lot of great memories and I’d like to think that, it was as good as it was bad.
So, I’m sorry.
I’m sorry that we’re not best friends anymore, and that I had to walk away. I’m also sorry, if I caused you any pain. Sorry that I couldn’t be “your” person anymore, that we couldn’t do everything we wanted to do.
I’m sorry that I tried to blame you for our friendship coming to an end. I’m sorry that I tried to hate you, because damn, did I try. I tried so hard and for awhile it worked, because hating you and being mad at you was easier than missing you.
But then I realized that I could never hate you, no matter how mad I was about what happened. I’m just sorry that this is how it had to end for us but then again that’s life for you, right?
Not everything goes the way it should, no matter how much you want it to.
But I would also like to, thank you.
Thank you for being my “person”, for as long as you were. Thank you for being patient with me while, I learned how to trust you. Thank you for the memories that I’ll never forget. Thank you for caring enough to break through the walls that I had built, all these years.
Thank you for being the person I could run to, for being the person whom I could count on, for being the person I could confide in without any fear. Thank you for teaching me how to love and be loved, for showing me that I can still trust others and be trusted. For proving that, people come into our lives for a reason and though they may not always stay....
But the lessons learnt are a blessing, anyway.
So, thank you.
I would say that I can see us being friends again in the future but that’ll be a lie. It would never be the same again and if I happen to see you one day, I’ll smile and walk away. And although, my heart will break a little and memories will hit me like a train, I’ll be grateful for the time that we spent together.
They say that, some people just aren’t meant to stay in your life forever unfortunately, you were one of those people. But they also say that, some people come into your life to teach you a lesson and leave, but the important ones leave a mark.
Well, you left a mark on me and I am grateful that you came into my life, when you did.
I also know that you may never see this but, I just needed to get it off my chest. There was a lot unsaid, a lot that I wish I could’ve said. So, I guess I’m writing this to get a some closure, for myself.
I sincerely hope that, you and your family are doing well. I wish that you get everything you want from your life, and more.
Know that you’ll always hold a place in my heart.
Your Ex Best Friend