A Happy Parent Is A Good Parent
Juggling different responsibilities and trying to excel at them is on everyone’s wishlist. More so for women, because there’s an unstated rule to ‘prove’ their worth by undertaking number of tasks at one time.
This time we bring you a discussion #FromTheCommunity, focussing on the baggage of guilt which comes with being an “ambitious woman.”
Although I am not a mother yet, but the thought of being judged for missing out on little details, if and when I have a child, casts serious doubts on my plans of becoming a mother.
An anonymous post #FromTheCommunity (let’s name her Ms. Aviator) shared her dilemma, being a working mother has left her in a double whammy. Ms.Aviator was an air-hostess when she got married and later took up pilot training. Now she’s a licensed pilot with packed schedules and crazy working hours. Understandably that would mean less hours spent with family and friends. Her daughter is putting up with her husband, the father, but still our Ms. Aviator is obviously being blamed for not being present for her child.
Her biggest fear, if she gives up on her dream job now, how would she ever ask her daughter to chase hers?
Set an example
Setting an example, forms the most important parameter when imparting life lessons to your children. I remember watching my father getting up early in the morning and following a ritual, which set the tone for his day ahead. I wondered, why would he get up even before it dawned?
I tried emulating this habit and after a couple of failed attempts, realised how refreshing and productive, that day turned out for me. Taking out time for myself and gearing up for the day ahead by following a ritual, of say, an exercise routine, meditation, morning walks, reading, or whatever you could possibly think of, sets the tone for the day.
I picked up this habit not out of compulsion or because I was “lectured” by my father. The idea of early-to-bed and early-to-rise struck a chord with me as I saw a live example, being followed by my dad.
There are no set solutions
It’s important to take an informed decision and not flow with the overpowering emotions. What might look like a pressing need, to quit your dream job or give up your passion, to look after your growing child, might come to haunt you as an unfulfilled goal. You cannot ensure, that constant monitoring of your child’s growth will promise anything concrete. There are no set ways to impart learnings to your child than any other way you are doing it, at present.
By definition, Conscious Parenting is about beliefs on what children need to develop and thrive, as opposed to a set of rules for parents to follow. When you’re true to your yourself, it reflects in your style of parenting as well. Ditch the guilt, a happy woman is a good parent. Planning and managing will definitely help in sorting out the mess. But, these are just the logistics, once your guilt is taken care of, everything will fall in place. There’s nothing called good or bad parenting. You have the leverage to bring up your child in the manner you want, by your own values and standards.